The Flip Off
by KeiraGrange
Summary: Yes people, here it is the second and last wonderful and wonderous chapter of the one and only 'Flip Off' please read and review! Contains some gory content andor mild language...
1. The Bad beginning

A/N: Even though I do wish it sometimes, I do not own ASOUE but one can always dream...

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Chapter 1

There comes a certain time in your life where you will have to go somewhere you don't particularly want to go or do something you don't particularly want to do. It may be a mathematics test you have to do, but you can't be bothered because your friends are finished and playing a fun game. Or maybe you have to go to your mothers work meeting, even though you would much rather stay home and watch TV.

For the Baudelaires though, they probably would be much happier to be with their mother at a work meeting or do a mathematics test just to escape Count Olaf's clutches to steal their large fortune, which their parents left behind when they perished in a fire. Since that horrible travesty, the Baudelaire orphans had encountered many adventures and journeys as the very unhelpful Mr. Poe continually tried to find a suitable home for the orphans, without Count Olaf interfering……

Violet, Klaus and Sunny where at the last safe place- The Hotel Denoument. Kit had told them to try and uncover some secrets of the sugar bowl. (Sadly, in this story it does not reveal the secrets of the sugar bowl) So now they where disguised as concierges to try and overhear what they needed to know.

Bing! went the alarm and Violet readied herself to go up to the sun bathing roof as Sunny and Klaus where left to look after the ADMINiSTRATION desk.

Violet adjusted her concierge glasses as she stepped into the elavator. Once she stepped in the elavator, it reminded her of her time living at 667 Dark Avenue where she met and lived with Esmé and Jerome Squalor. The elavators there, were "Out of Service" because using elavators wasn't "in" according to Esmé.

Violet was standing in the elavator waitng for the doors to close as a familiar face appeared and stepped in with Violet. "Wheres the restaurant?" it grunted. Violet gestured towards the number, 22 and pressed the button as the door closed. She then realised that the familiar face was indeed the rude Principal Nero from the Prufock Prepatory School, whos motto reminded everyone that they would die soon. He was the full-of-himself violin player who demanded candy from each of those students who missed his more than 3 hour-long violin practice.

The elavator binged and Principal Nero waddled out of the elavator. "Better be good." He mumbled, referring to the restaurant. The doors closed and the dreadful sound of elavator music filled Violets ears again. She still felt ill at the thought of having to tend to – a word which here means "looking after" and "doing what someone wants one to do"- Esmé and Carmelita on top of the sun bathing roof of the hotel. The elavator shaft stopped and Violet readied herself to do what she had to do. She quietly walked to the "ROOF ACCESS" door and opened it to find Esmé on the sunlounge, Carmelita in the pool and a few others bathing on the sun roof. Esmé was wearing a strange sort of bikini, but when Violet squinted she could see that it were only a few lettuce leaves sticky taped to her body covering the parts you would normally cover with a bikini. Along with the lettuce leaves she was wearing a pair of strange green glasses.

Carmelita was in a steaming spash pool and was wearing a bright blue jacket covered in medals, the kind soldiers would wear and a white shirt with curly blue letters that spelt out the name of a sporting team. She also had on a bright cape attached with staples and on her feet pink cowboy boots with spurs. Lastly a black triangular hat with skulls and crossbones printed on it was on her head.

"Stop looking at my princess Carmelita and flip me over!" Esmé demanded.

"I'm not a princess! I'm a ball-playing cowboy superhero soldier pirate!" she cried.

"Yes, whatever you say Carmelita," Esmé said taking a sip of her aqueous martini.

Violet rolled her eyes behind her tinted glasses and waited for Esmé's comands.

"I wonder where those cake-sniffing ophans are?" Carmelita said playing in her wooden boat.

"Who knows?" Esmé said "But I hope we find them soon because finding murderers is so in!" Esmé continued. Esme always followed what was "in" and what was "out" so she could always be "fashionable" .

Violet frowned because Esmé and Olaf framed them as murderers, as she blamed the death of Jaques Snicket on the Baudelaires, even though they were completely innocent.

Violet went over to get a spatula and out she pulled was a large yellowish flipping spatula. It looked to be quite discoloured from sun damage. She dragged it over to the slightly bronzed Esmé. "Well don't just stand there! Flip me over!" she squealed. Then instead of Violet flipping Esmé, she spilt her aqueous martini all over her.

Violet stepped away from the dampened Esmé as she grabbed the blue spatula.

"Time for a flip off!" Esmé squealed and suddenly two commentators and a large crowd flowed out the "ROOF ACCESS" door. Suddenly a commentator said "Did someone say a Flip off?" and the crowd answered "Yes!".

The commentators started commentating on what was happening on the roof of the leaning hotel. As you could imagine nothing much was happening as Violet had no idea to what a flip-off was.

The microphone crackled."The flip-off is a contest between two competitors."

one commentator said.

"Each competitor has a spatula to flip as many things off the roof as possible ."

Violet was already thinking of things to flip off the roof: the deck chair, Carmelitas ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate boat, Carmelita _the _ballplaying cowboy superhero soldier pirate, Then she thought about whacking Count Olaf, Esmé and all the troupe members: the 2 white-faced women, the bald man, the man with a hook for a hand, the person that neither looked like a man or woman and the four new members: Fiona(Captain Widdershins' daughter), Kevin the ambidextrous, Hugo the hunchback and Colette the contortionist. But sensing reality, she knew that it was impossible….. Or was it?

The microphone squealed and the commentator said," Ready, Set, GO!!"

Violet ran towards the drink table, but before she reached it, Esmé smashed it and sweeped the glass of the building, like sweeping dead leaves off a veranda. They fell to the ground below like a shower of darts, stabbing people in the eyes and face while Violet and Esmé watched from above. "You're an evil bitch you know!" Violet yelled and Esmé sniggered.

"One nil!" the commentator cried.

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You like? please R&R Next chapter soon!

..:SBS:..


	2. The end but not really THE End

The Flip off: Chapter 2

Sorry I haven't updated lately. I needed ideas but didn't have any. Well, im finished now

Enjoy!

But don't read if your not into gory things. Ok? Good. Sorted.

..::SBS::..

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Chapter 2: 

"The score is one all!" cried the commentator.

Violet thwacked Esme in the stomach and she went flying against the ROOF ACCESS door. She squealed as she scrambled to her feet. She raised her eyebrows when Violet went for something.

Carmelitas boat.

Carmelita watched in surprise. "THAT'S MY BOAT, YOU CAKESNIFFER!!" Carmelita screamed .

"Suck on this!" Violet retorted and whacked Carmelitas little ass from the surface of the roof.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!" she screamed.

Violet then let the boat sail into the air and from the roof.

"Serves you bloody right!" Violet said and a sense of determination to kill everyone in sight came over her.

Esme was heading toward a sunchair when Violet hit one spectator which fell onto another, which fell on another etc.

A huge rush of power enforced her arms and her removed the spectators all from the roof.

"That was 400 spectators you know!" one commentator said to another.

Esme's face filled with a shade of crimson red which then graduated to merlot red.

"THAT'S NOT ALLOWED!" She screamed and stomped her feet hard. She had a fit and snapped her glasses in half. "There are 5 seconds left!" the commentator said as Esme threw her spatula at the commentators and one of their heads was cleanly sliced off.

"Whoever agrees that this competitor(points at Esme) is one evil bitch, raise your hand!"

the live commentator said. Violet raised her hand, so did the live commentator and even the dead one did.

"That's not fair!" Esme said.

Violet took off her hat and dropped it off the hotel edge. She then took off her conciege sunglasses.

" Life, isn't fair Esme." She said and parachuted off the hotel roof.

"The winner of the flip off just parachuted of the building!" a commentator announced to the audience he didn't have.

"I LOST TO A FRIGGIN' ORPHAN BRAT!! THAT SUCKS!" Esme squealed and stomped out of the access door.

Violet reached the bottom of the hotel and saw someone in familiar with a boat lodged in their head and speaking jibberish.

"Ballplayingballerinacowboyfairysuperheroprincesssoldierveternarianpirate!" they babbled and Violet realised it was Carmelita with her Ball playing, cowboy,superhero, soldier, pirate boat in her head. "Lokupolaffesmeforlyfndkilemafta." She babbled again.

" Yep that's right Carmelita." Violet agreed and walked down the street.

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So did ya like it? If you read you review. GOT IT?

Reviews are much appreciated,

in all stories.

Please review.

xx..::SBS::..xx


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